Week 3 Day 2

Let's see if I can get this done all in one shot today.

How many of you thought you were closer to one or the other of your parents as you were growing up only to find out that it was all on your side?

I came to that realization only after my father had passed away. Then only when my mom was telling me that he had told my niece to let go of the bad feelings that she had with her dad, because he didn't want to see a rift last between them, like it had for us. I didn't know that we were out of sorts. Came as a surprise.

The only thing I can think happened was this, when my first husband and I split up, I did what everyone else usually does before they get married. Went out a lot, went dancing, dating, drinking, your know your basic 3 D's. Dad got a little upset when one night my cousin and I were on the way home, hit an icy patch in the road, hit the ditch, and had to call someone for a ride. My son was with his aunt, so he was taken care of and safe.

Dad didn't like it much, threatened to take Collin away if I didn't straightened up. Hence the beginning of a lot of things.

I did finally have my fill of doing all that stuff. Thank goodness. Came to my senses, but I never thought that it caused any big problems. Evidentally(?) I was wrong, and never knew it.

My parents have always been more partial to my brother, wondering why I couldn't be more like him, that kind of thing. At family gatherings if he wasn't around, he was the only one you ever heard them talk about. My daughter experienced this during a family reunion on my dad's side that we had. I know that you don't usually talk or brag about the people that are there with you, but my brother was there.

I guess that no matter how old you get, sometimes the old resentments still exist, even if only in a very small corner of your mind. I had made mine up that there was no way I would ever turn out like my brother. Did a good job of it too. While I was doing my own "thing", he was getting all the respect and pride of parents lavished on him.

I wonder sometimes how it all affected him emotionally though. He finally settled down with his 3rd wife, after she told him he had to basically choose between her and his kids. Guess who he chose? Yep, the kids were shipped off to live with his ex-wife. Not hard to see why there might be some resentment there.

No matter how many children you have, treat them all as if they are your favorite. Treasure them for their unique talents and goals, never compare them to any one else, let other people compare their children to yours and want theirs to be as awesome as your children are. Self esteem is so very important to young and old people, and it is one of the hardest things to maintain about yourself.