Sunday, January 31, 2010

Week2 Day 7

Sunday morning, a day to rest. When I was younger, it wasn't a day to rest at all. Still had to get up, have breakfast, get cleaned up and dressed then off to Sunday School and Church. Always seemed to have company on Sunday also. What is so restful about that?

So today I decided to start a little bit later. Not quite this late, had big plans for breakfast. Was going to make waffles. Mix was no good, had to wait for the grocery store to open, then go get all new ingrediants. It was worth it though. The crispy crust, the little squares holding the butter and syrup, the glass of milk and cup of coffee to wash it down. MMMMMMM!

Got some left over, so now I can freeze them, and then throw them in the toaster or microwave next time I get a craving.

Going in a completely different direction. Have you ever been told that you are pretty, beautiful, handsome, what ever the case may be? I think I could count on one hand with fingers left over how many times in my life I heard anything remotely similar.

Most of the time it came from my daughter, thank you. Growing up what I constantly heard was that if I didn't lose weight, I would never have a boyfriend, remember now, at that time I was a size 12. My one Grandmother told me after I was married, working the night shift at a nursing home and had dropped about 40 pounds, was down to 130, that I should just keep it up, I would eventually get there.

One of the best things I had going for me, I think, was my smile. I love to smile. There is just something so uplifting about it, it makes you feel so good on the inside. I had a boss one time that told me I made a good receptionist because I had a "friendly" face.

The whole reason for this little rant is this, no matter what your children look like, or what they weigh, or what phase they are going through, take the time to tell them that they are beautiful. I'm hoping that as a parent, I have done credit to my children in that regard. I think that my daughter is one of the most beautiful people on earth, and my son is tall and handsome, just ask their respective spouses. My grandchildren aren't so far behind, just getting to that stage where their personalities are starting to shine.

If you have never been told you are pretty or good looking, how are you supposed to belive it about yourself? We can tell ourselves this, but outside confirmation is very special and important.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Week 2 Day 6

I've been thinking alot about forgiveness. Have you ever had the occasion to be in the position where you either forgive or go crazy thinking about it all the time?

After my first husband and I split up I was in that position. We had made a pact that no matter what happened or how we felt about each other, we would never bring any of it to the front in front of our son. It worked really well. We all have to put our kids first, no matter how you feel about the other person.

During our brief marriage, 4 years, there were many times that he cheated on me. It is true what they say, the wife is always the last to know. You may feel it, but you don't want to admit it.

After we moved back to Minnesota, he went school. We were both working and didn't have the same hours. I worked during the day while he went to school, and then he had a part-time job at an off sale liqour store. While he was working there, he met someone. Surprise.

Less than a year later, we had split up. His girlfriend moved in with him before I even found a new place to live. I was staying with my folks, couldn't afford to stay in the cities on my own, and knew that I didn't want a room mate.

Lot of bad feelings going on at that time. How could I get him back? What could I do to make him as miserable as I was? When would he come to his senses? Never did manage to fulfill any of that.

After I got together with Arlen, life just seemed to be so much easier. He didn't judge, didn't assume and didn't try to change any of the things that I was feeling. This is where the foriveness comes into it. I realized one day, that I had everything that I could possibly want in my life. Time to let it go. Of course it made it easier when the first one called and asked me reduce his child support because his girlfriend was pregnant. Didn't happen. Not my problmen that he couldn't control his sperm. I figured what could I do that would make a difference anyway. Nothing, absolutely nothing. So my child support stayed where it was at that time, and he had to learn how to make a dollar stretch a lot further.

Once I let go of the bitterness,resentment and the feeling sorry for me, I just kind of put his problems and life out of my mind.

We have since become a lot better friends, and can be in the same room with each other and our respective spouses. We can carry on a conversation about anything, and we can both take great pride in how our son turned out. Collin became everything that a parent could possible ask for in a son from a broken home. Not only do we both love him, but out spouses also love him. What could be better? Not only for Collin, but for us as well.

He is going through some major medical problems right now. He was recently diagnosed with MS. I only hope for the very best for him. My first husband I mean, not our son. Arlen also has medical problems, so I guess it wouldn't have mattered which one I ended up with, I would still have big issues to deal with, and I have learned to deal with it, Hopefully.

When do you find that it is time to let it go and forgive? Although you will never forget, it doesn't have to become the one thing in your life that you can't get over.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Week 2 Day 5

For some unknown reason, I can't seem to sleep past 4 am. Starting to get frustrated. There's nothing on tv at that time of day, don't dare do any cleaning, nothing is open even if I had somewhere to go, it just kinda bites the big one.

So, it's Friday. Time to think of something to write about. The weather has been done to death, can't do anything to change it anyway. Politics just isn't my thing. Haven't even voted in a single election for any type of office! Not because I can't find any candidate worth voting for, I'm sure there are some out there, but becuase I don't give a good gall darn.

A week from tomorrow, I will turn 52, whoopee. Haven't done much of anything with my life up to this point. For those of you thinking you don't need secondary education, you are wrong. Any type of learning is better than nothing.

It is very hard to get a decent job without it. Life and work experience don't seem to mean as much as they used to. Granted everything has become very techno, but what good does it do if you don't know how to apply common sense to it?

I wish I had gone on to school after high school, had the chance, just didn't have the nerve to leave home and move that far away. Back when technical colleges were just vocational schools, I was accepted at Anoka for their Medical Secretary program, had a relative to stay with, schooling for the most part at that time was free if you were a resident of Minnesota, everything set up. Then I looked at a map and thought, man that's a long way away from home. Gave it up and got a job instead.
Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.

The only extra schooling I ever received was when I got my Nurse's Aid Certification. Was working at a nursing home, and they not only paid for the course, but they paid us our hourly wage to attend. Although I enjoyed the work, worked the 11-7 shift, I am no longer physically able to do that type of work. Did do Home Health Care for a while. Enjoyed that also, just too bad that there was so much driving involved, and such distances between cares.

Oh well, enough of the maudlin thoughts. I got another post done and that is as it should be.

What do you think or dream about when you can't sleep?

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Week 2 Day 4

Well, here we are again. Guess I'll do a little more remembering. Maybe start at the 7th grad level today.

7th grade was spent in Redwood Falls, Lincoln High. Probably one of the most confusing layouts for a school that I ever saw. Of course it was the "big" time. County seat and all that, 2 story building, not counting the basement level which housed the cafeteria, choir and band rooms, wrestling and handball. At least those are the areas that I got to.

Had my first boyfriend there. Mike. My brother Mike had a girlfriend named Patty. How weird can it get. We all hung out together. None of us could drive, so parents were very handy. Went bowling, to the movies and to each other's houses. You know, the stuff you're allowed to do at that age.

We had horses then, and lived in my grandparents place that overlooked the valley. If you have ever been in that area you know how beautiful the valley is. What a great place to go sledding and riding. By sledding, I don't mean snowmobiling.

Our neighbors at that time, the Dahlbergs, had cattle down in the valley and once in a while we would get our horses and go round them up and back up to the farmstead. Sure hope it was as much fun as I remember. I had a little horse, or I suppose you would call it a pony because of its size, named Jerry. Loved that horse. Most of the cattle were taller than he was, I didn't care. He just got into smaller places than the other ones.

Made lots of friends in that school. It wasn't based on what your last name was, or what clubs you belonged to, or what clothes you wore. Back in the 70's everyone wore pretty much the same thing. Whether it was expensive or not, it all looked the same. This was probably one of the best years I ever had. The school was too big to be known as anyones little brother or sister, didn't have the same teachers to have them compare you to anyone else. The only relatives I had there were all older and so didn't have a lot to do with them during school.

We eventually moved to Echo when I started 8th grade. Not sure what was up with the whole moving thing again. At that time you just went where your parents said to go. For the first month or so, Mike and I stayed with my mom's brother, Mel and his wife Kathy. When they got the move done, we moved into the house that was across the field from my other grandparents, across another field from my moms twin brother and kitty corner across a field and highway from Mel & kathy. Talk about being surrounded by family! But, we survived.

I know that I skipped grade schools, and maybe one day I will go back and hit upon what that was like. I was very shy during that time and had a hard time making friends, so, go figure. I will get back to it.

Sometimes, it is good to just sit down and think about where you have been, where you want to go and where you are now. Did your childhood have any way of determining any of these things? Was it just a time in your life when your life really wasn't your own, but belonged to everyone else?

Think about this: If you had one year of your childhood to do over again, what age would you choose? Remeber childhood lasts right up to the time you turn 18.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Week2 Day 4

I've been thinking alot about what my childhood was like. Up until the age of 4 or so, I guess that it was all pretty normal. Around 4 my Dad got hurt. I do remember a lot of things changing.

He was working for his Dad in the construction business, digging ditches, that kind of thing. Dropped is watch into one of the ditches, and when he went in to get it the backhoe driver didn't see him, the backhoe when it was lowered caught him in the neck/back region. Broke his neck.

From then on, all I really remember about him, is he was in and out of hospitals right up until the day he passed away 5 years ago.

I remember a traction device being hung in the one doorway of our house and being the little brain that I was, I thought we were having a baby, looked like a jonny jump up.

We lived in a 3 bedroom home in Redwood Falls, yellow with a big yard and always a dog in the kennel. It had one of the coolest things in it that from a child's viewpoint was almost magical. It had a laundry chute in my parents bedroom. Can you imagine, no dirty clothes piled up in baskets anywhere! I've always wanted one, but first I would have to have a house with a basement.

We also had a big sand box out in the back, lots of neighbors with kids our age to play with everyday. We were always at someones house. I think it was more to do with the fact that we weren't allowed to play in the house. On rainy days we could go into the basement and fool around. Just a big cement room, nothing fancy.

One year for Easter, Dad had gotten me a baby duck, Squeaky. He would sit on my shoulders or comic books, depending on what I was doing. Not sure where he was at night. Squeakly died, we buried him in the sandbox. Who knows what else was out there.

There was always something to do. We tried walking on stilts, chasing bats, having fun in kiddie pools, except one kid had this really big above ground pool, spent a lot of time there. There was even an implement dealer not too far from us. We were not allowed there. Didn't stop my brother and cousin from playing on the stuff. Not until Mike ended up having to have stitches in his head from falling either on or off of one the things.

He wasn't the only one requiring stitches. My other cousin and I were goofing off, needless to say, he threw a rock towards me, thought I would actually catch it. Well, I guess I did, just not with my hands. Hit me in the forehead and also had to have stitches. Screamed alot, remember that. After the stitches were in, Dad did buy me a box of chocolates, said it was for being so good at the Dr's.

The sweet and bittersweet memories. There are a lot more, they will come up later.

Think about this: Without childhood memories, how do we have anything to compare the new ones make to?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Week 2 Day 3

Here I sit again. Trying to come up with something witty and smart to write about. Not sure how that is going to happen.

Was up most of the night, that is what happens when you don't do anything during the day. Listening to the wind blow, just made me more tired and unable to sleep. How nice would it be to be a weather person? You can be wrong more than you are right, still make lots of money and never have to worry about being fired because of what you said.

What ever happened to the good old days (?) when people from around the state used to be in touch with the forecasters and let them know what was going on outside? Or even, when the forecasters themselves used to get outside to see what was going on? At least then no matter where you were, your area was partially covered. Now if you don't live in the Metro area or Wisconsin, your area doesn't exist unless something dire happens.

We all know that since it is winter, it is going to be cold, windy and snowy. Any idiout can predict that. The Farmer's Almanac (if it is still around) was always a handy thing to have in the house. People used to keep track of everything and recognized when a cycle was to start or end. Heck, even the old farmer's were better at predicting the weather just by watching the beavers and other wildlife.

Now everything is so high tech, me, I go by how my knees feel. If they hurt alot, it's going to be damp and cold, doesn't matter the season. This year my back has been trying to get in on the act. It has not been a good year for nice weather.

My Dad was a good one for getting it right. Due to his injuries when I was little it seemed like he could predict a week ahead of time what was coming. Not just in Minnesota either. Of course, the other states didn't count for as much, still don't as far as I am concerned. I'm not in them, so don't really care what happens there, unless someone I know is going to be going to one of them. There were very few things that Dad was ever wrong about. How many of you can say that about your Father's?

Think about this: Without Dads and Moms, where would be actually be?

Monday, January 25, 2010

Week2 Day 3

Well, all you Vikings fans, they lost. No big surprise there. All of you know that I am not a fan of football, however, my dear husband decided last night that I needed to be kept up to date on most of the plays. I kept telling him, I don't care, they are going to lose anyway. Do feel bad for those of you who were pulling for them and hoping for a miracle.

Woke up this morning to a very windy day. All I could think of was that I have to take out the garbage and run uptown later. Not looking forward to going outside.

Yesterday's meal for Amber turned out well. Of course, I completely forgot that I had to cut up the cauliflower and broccoli and cook it. Nothing dried out while I was waiting for it to get done. Everyone ate a lot and seemed to enjoy it. Arlen did an excellent job with the Chicken Cordon Bleu and even had a request for it again. It is always fun to experiment with something new. We do however test it out on ourselves before we serve it to others.

Both grandkids were here, which always makes it more special. Brandon just thinks the world of Lily and Lily looks up to her big cousin. She was pretty cute with some of the words she now says. She loves blueberries, so much so that she will ask to have some "boobies". Of course, we had to keep making her say it over and over again.

Collin and Amber brought along Taz, their golden retreiver. Our cats decided that they didn't really think that was appropriate, after all they wouldn't invade his space. It was fun watching the fur on the backs and the tails inflate. Takes so little to amuse us.

Pets are the greatest thing ever. You always have someone to talk to, they never argue or disagree with you, and they think you are the best thing in life next to kibble. I'll take it.

Since this is Monday, not much has happened to write about so I guess I will leave you with this thought: Since the Vikings lost to the Saints, does that mean they need to get a little more religion, or go to Norway and learn how to fight?

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Week 2 Day 2

This is harder than it seems. I don't get out and about much, so it has become increasingly harder to find things to write about.

The big hoopla this week is the Vikings game today. Well I say, Whoop. I am not a football fan, so I don't understand what the big deal is. It isn't like it is going to have an impact on my life. I sure don't have one on theirs.

Can you imagine if everyone made just a tenth of what they do, for the short amount of time they spend doing it, what our economy would be like. What do they do with all that money anyway? Hopefully, they are caring, compassionate people who in their own way try to do the right thing. Hopefully it isn't just about them and what is in it for them.

OK enough of the football rant. Don't know enough about it to go into details. The only thing I enjoyed about the game, was watching it in high school becuase the guys were in tight pants!

I have however found the secret to a good day. A hot shower with the water beating down on my back. No better feeling in the world. It just makes you feel like getting out and doing something. Doesn't even matter what the something is.

As soon as I find a job, I am going to attempt to quit smoking. This blog will hopefully help me get through that. Going to be a long uphill climb, but maybe, just maybe, by the time I get there, I will be able to breath easier. So wish me luck.

Think about this: If we all asked one pro-football player for $500,000 just to improve our everyday lives, how many would actually say sure?

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Week 2 Day 1

Here I sit once again. Still dark out, wet, damp and all around crappy. Good thing I don't have to go out in it for any reason at all.

Today we are going to start getting everything ready for Amber's birthday lunch tomorrow. Arlen is going to make the Chicken Cordon Bleu, I am going to make the cream puffs for the desert. Since I know that not everyone coming enjoys a pudding type desert, I also picked up a tray of chocolate cupscakes. Gotta keep 'em all happy and wanting to come back.

Got a call from my mom last night, all of her lab results were normal and she won't know anything about the MRI and ECHO until next week when she sees the neurologist out in Fargo.

She also told me that my niece, Kate, got engaged. Eiher yesterday or the day before. Was pretty excited about it. Ah, young love. She lives in New Mexico, so the chance of us going is pretty next to nothing. Will send a card wishing her all the best.

Right after I got off the phone with my mom, my sister-in-law, Jan, called. She is in the Waconia hospital. Has some uncontrolled bleeding, she didn't go into details, although she did say that she wasn't going to let her parents know. Wouldn't make much difference either way, since they wouldn't come up to see her. Duane wouldn't feel good, and since he does the driving, well, what can I say.

Don't know how long she'll be there or what they are planning on doing, Arlen will call later to find all that out. If we go to visit her, it will be a different experience for Arlen. He will actually get to walk out of the hospital withought having to sign lots of papers.

Other than all of that, I don't have much to talk about today.

Think about this: When something good happens and then is followed by something not so good, which one do you concentrate on?

Friday, January 22, 2010

Day Seven

I have had my first cup of coffee, stretched out my back and now think I am maybe ready to start the day. Of course, whether I am ready or not the day has already started, so here we go.

Usually the first thing I do when I start up my computer is to check out my Facebook page, just to see what everyone was up to the night before. Lots of game playing going on there. Some games are very entertaining, some are mundane and some are just plain boring. I guess it all depends on your point of view.

I have a Solataire Suite installed. If you are ever depressed or just plain bored, do not play any type of solataire. This is one type of game that will never make you feel better. I personally think it was designed just to keep people's egos in check.

You lose more than you win, yet you just keep thinking, "I'll beat it the next time". What happens, you play again and probably lose, again. It is the only game designed to make you play against yourself. And let's face it, if you can't beat you, who can you beat.

After all, you know how you think, what you are planning on doing next and when you are going to do it. Why shouldn't you win? It is just cards, stupid cards.

So many people now only play games on consoles, which keeps them in front of the tv even more. I remember growing up, there were no games that could be played on tv, yep, I'm that old. We did however have Monopoly, Scrabble, Yahtzee and multi-player card games.

If you think about it all of these games were not only designed to be played by lots of people, they were also educational without letting us know. Monopoly and Yahtzee helped hone our math skills, Scrabble our spelling and the card games our thinking and logic.

As children we were better focused and able to sit for long periods of time. You never heard the terms ADD or AHDD. We had chores to do, yards to run around in, and friends to take up the slack. At the end of the day, we were tired, and ready to sleep. We didn't take medicine to help us get through the night, and then take some more to help us stay calm during the day. That was strictly for the adults. They did after all have to keep us occupied.

We learned to cook, clean, do laundry and everything else that would make us the adults that we are today. Some good, some not so good. Our parents have to be commended for at least trying to prepare us. They only bought things for us at certain times of the year, not because we were throwing tantrums and were embarassing them in public.

Think about this: If you threw away all of the game consoles, games and controllers that go along with it, and re-placed them with board games, would you be able to get to know your children better?

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Day Six

What has it's ending at the beginning, and its beginning at the end? Are you one of those people who just love riddles and brain teasers? Me, not so much. I think that part of my brain just decided to go on vacation and liked it so much it moved permanantly.

One more day to go and the first week of this blog will be complete. Has it impacted any body, I don't know. Has it helped anybody, still don't know. Has it made a difference in my daily life, sure. I now have something to do in the early morning hours, where as before, all I tried to do was sleep. Silly me.

Some days I wish I had lots of stories from my past to write about, but alas, I don't. My childhood was pretty mundane. Born in Redwood Falls, moved to Cedar Rapids, Ia when I was in 3rd grade, moved to Echo, Mn for the last part of 4th grade, stayed there until the middle of 6th grade, moved back to Redwood for the last part of 6th grade, moved back to Echo for 8th - 12th grade. Except for Echo, every other town involved 2 schools. These weren't moves by choice for my parents, they were moves of need. Due to my Dad's health problems.

Was nice to finally settle down in one area for most of high school, make some friends and have relatives close by. The one thing all the moving around hurt, was in the fact that you never learned how to make a friendship that lasted longer than the school did.

I believe that next year will be our 35th Reunion. Don't know if we will go or not. I don't enjoy that kind of thing. As I have gotten older, I have realized that I just don't have that much in common with any of them any longer. To me, all it is is a chance for everyone to brag about how many diffrent homes they have, what they do for a living, if they make more money and how perfect their children are. I have one home, am unemployed at the moment, Arlen can't work, and although my children are great, thank God they aren't perfect! I can't go and embellish these facts, nor do I want to, so we generally stay away from school functions.

If you miss and enjoy seeing your classmates, by all means go. If you don't, don't worry about it, there are so many other things in life to worry about. Don't let anybody tell you they missed you because you weren't there, trust me, they may have commented on it at the time, but then went on to do whatever it was they were doing.
Good for them.

Answer to the beginning riddle: Winter

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Day Five

Last night I had so many ideas of what to write about today. Can't remember a single one! Evidently they just weren't worth writing about, so I'll wing it.

You know, it is so easy to forget about the beauty of winter when we are complaining about the snow, wind and cold, and don't forget the icy roads.

Winter it self is probably one of the most beautiful seasons of all. Every bird that flies is highlighted by the white background and the crystal blue skyline. Every evergreen variety looks brighter and healthier. The color in the children's faces and the joy reflected there as they are building snowmen or sledding or skating. What could bring more happiness to a person's heart and soul.

Too bad that it is also the longest season, think about it, it starts in one year and doesn't end until the next. No other season has that distiction. It is all made well worth it when the Christmas lights and decorations come out. Other holidays have deocrations but they are not the same. They don't reflect off of anything, there is no constant glow when there is no snow falling around them and they just aren't as much fun to drive around and look at.

I took some pictures of the hoar frost the other morning. Even the most bizarre, strange and ugle trees and bushes become such a sight, it almost takes your breath away. It is like frosting on a beautiful cake meant to be shared with everyone, and best of all, it's FREE.

Don't get me wrong, winter is not my favorite season. When you can't change something you might as well try to find the good in it. So many of my family were born in the winter months, so no matter what there is always a positive about it.

Here is the thought for the day: If you could paint a picture of one day in winter, what would you paint? Would it be a raging blizzard or a scene of people coming together to enjoy a bon fire and the company of each other?

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Day Four

Four days and still going. Those of you who have to drive this morning, please be careful. At 2:30 am it was super foggy, which means low visibility and possiblity of icing on the roads. Remember it isn't necesarily your driving you have to watch out for, the other drivers also need watching. Especially the ones who are continualy running late. Come on people, leave home earlier!

Taking an application back today. Yes, you heard me, an actual paper application. It has been so long since I filled one out, almost forgot how. Appling for the 3rd shift, 12am - 8am. I figure that I should have a shot at it for the following reasons, people with little children aren't going to want to work that shift, people with school age children will need to be home in the morning to get them off to school, it pays better, and since I can't seem to sleep through the night, it would be a perfect shift. Wish me luck.

The last couple of days have been very productive in our household. It is amazing what you can accomplish in one day when both of you work at it together. Tomorrow (or today, depending on how you look at it) all I have to do is fold some laundry and dry one load and that's it. I can take as many naps as I want to, naps are so under rated.

Thought for the day: What are you going to say to your children when they ask: What did you do when you were my age? Will you be truthful and tell them everything, or will you sugarcoat it and just tell them what you think they need to hear? My advice, if you were not a perfect child, tell them the truth, all of it. They can only learn if we are willing to teach.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Day Three

So far I have managed to keep up with this, some days it is harder than others to try to think of things to write about.

Yesterday, my husband and I re-arranged our living room. What a great way to do a deep cleaning. Got all the dust and debris that accumulates under the furniture, drove the cats crazy (that was the best!). The absolute best though was the fact that we did it together. Can't wait until we get to the washer area. Everything is going to get switched around. So, if you know of anyone who wants a huge corner tub, let me know, we will be removing ours. We are getting to the age that a tub that deep an that size is no longer needed. Just don't feel safe getting in and out.

Have plans for the kitchen also. We don't have a lot of counter top space and would like to extend it and yet at the same time get rid of the table that takes up so much room and blocks the window.

Just waiting until 6 am, then I can file for my unemployment and get my day started. Going to finally get the Christmas stuff out to storage, stop and pick up an application, go to the pharmacy, and come home and get my kitchen cleaned up. Doesn't that sound exciting?!

Arlen made Chicken Kiev for supper last night. We are trying to come up with an idea for our daughter-in-laws birthday meal. So we are either going to do Chicken Kiev or Chicken Cordon Blue(?) with garlic mashed potatoes, cauliflower &broccoli with cheese sauce on the side and chocolate filled cream puffs in place of cake.

I do this for the kids instead of buying them something. It is now so hard to figure out if they need or want anything, and if they do, is it something I can afford. I know they all like to eat. Adam's birthday will be easier, his is in August and we can grill. Which means most of the cooking falls to Arlen.

Well, this was certainly a boring blog. Before I go, let me leave you with this thought, (no it won't be anything deep or even meaningful).

When you picture your life in 20 years, do you see yourself with the person you married, surrounded by your family and friends. Or do, you see something totaly different? Think about what it is you desire for the rest of your life and go for it.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Day Three

It is now 6:15 am, finally slept half way decent last night, don't know why, am not going to question it, just going to enjoy it.

For those of you out there with small children, you are the luckiest people I know. Children bring so much into our lives. Things we never knew where missing, things we never knew we needed and things that if they were ever taken away would make our lives empty and un-meaningful.

They stay little and dependent for such a short time, before you know it they are first walking, running, talking and not listening like you figure they should. Embrace them every chance you get, tell them you love them more than they want to hear, and show your support every step of the way. Never neglect to tell them how much you are proud of them. Whether once they start school they come home with A's or C's. As long as they tried their best and you both know it or they joined a new club, just to try someting new. We also have to remember that our children need to have rules and you have to have the courage to enforce them. This is what makes them into the adults they are destined to become.

At some point you will hear your child say "I don't love you anymore", don't take it personally. They are just trying to get your attention. When this does happen, take them in your arms, hug them tight, and tell them that you will always love them no matter what. You may not always like your child, but you can't like everyone all the time. It is more a matter of not liking what they did or are doing than not liking them. Deep down they will love you no matter what, and they do grow out of that stage.

February 16 marks the 27th birthday of our one son, June 3 marks the anniversay of his death. He died from SIDS. No body should ever have to go through that. You learn from that day on to take life one day at a time.

20 years ago, last July, marked another down point in life. I miscarried. So for those of you saying, "She doesn't know what she is talking about" I probably know more than I should. Anytime you lose a child, it marks you in ways that you never thought were possible. Ways that change your life and your views about family and the way that you raise your other children.

Never let anyone make you feel that you are not a good parent, teacher or friend to your children. The only one who can decide that is you, at some point you will be a hero, a superstar, a best friend and a confidant. Take them all as they are offered and never look back and think you could have done different or better. You are doing just fine.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Day Two

3:30 in the morning. Not sure what's going on, but lately I have been waking up at 2:30 and been unable to go back to sleep for a couple of hours. Gotta tell ya, not enjoying it very much, and it needs to stop. Please don't tell me to go to bed at a late time, doesn't make any difference.

So, I went ahead a applied for the job on line. Only to have them come back and say that there weren't any job openings currently that met my qualifications. Does that mean that I was over qualified, under qualified or answered all of their questions wrong? And, if there aren't any openings, why do they have it posted on their site? Remove it and quit wasting my time.

Next time I am not going to be so honest in my answers and see what happens, Maybe they are just looking for someone who is under smart enough to catch their eye, so they can say, "Let's see what we can do with this one."

Like I said before, job hunting is not easy or fun. It is the one area in your life that can make you feel like a total loser. You hear all the time, keep your spirits up, the right job will come along, you'll find something soon. Well, it is very hard to keep the spirits up when you are trying to pay the bills, and how do you know if it is the right job when you can't get an interview, and if there is nothing out there for which you are qualified, how can you find something soon? Just saying.

Maybe, just maybe, I should start appling for those positions that I know that I am no qualified for and join the force of hundreds of others doing the same thing. There again, a waste of my time. Not that I can't afford to waste some of it, it is just the idea of getting the oomph up to do it.

I am trying to be positive and look on the bright side. First of all, I don't have to go out in the cold unless I want to. I don't have to worry about what the roads are like, and I don't have to keep looking out of the windows wondering if I am going to get home or not. At the moment I am warm, fed and lucky to be able to pay the bills. Better than some, worse than some.

I don't feel as if I am an overly aggresive person, but I do like to get things done when they should be done and do them correctly. It is too easy in life to say I'll get to it tomorrow. Tomorrow just gives you twice as much to get done than if you had done it right away and gotten it out of the way. New goals everyday!

Finally got some photos up on my Facebook page. Not much, but it is a start. Couple in there of our Granddaughter with her Christmas stuff. One of the best things we got her this year was a Pick Me Up Elmo. Says a whole bunch of different things and giggles. She loved it.

Weather is suppose to co-operate today, so I will get the garbage out, again, that is one never ending job, It is nice to have the temps in the upper 20's and lower
30's. Doesn't take much to make me happy, never has.

Friday, January 15, 2010

First Day

So, this is the first day of this blog.

For those of you out there who at the moment are unemployed, I know exactly what you are going through. Last September the place where I was working closed it's doors. We all saw it coming, just kept hoping that it would change. It didn't.

So I have been "job hunting" since then. I am running into the problem of everyone applying for employment for which they are not qualified. This makes it difficult for the employer who then has to wade through all of the apps., weed them out, and cut down to a decent size number. Hopefully, you are one of them. So many are now only accepting applications on line, which means that there is no chance for a spontaneous interview, or a good first impression with the receptionist. We all know from previous experience that when that receptionist hands over the application, the hiring manager will ask what their perception of this person was.

I recently ran across an on line application that asked for my social security number. This is an illegal question, the same with your birthdate. These can only be asked after you have been hired. The reason for this is identity theft and age discrimination. Both of which are also illegal.

Same thing when they ask for the year that you graduated from high school.

Since most of us have graduated at the age of 18 it is very easy to figure out how old you are from this information. Once again, age discrimination. So to this company, which is corporate owned, I will be going directly to the establishment and filling out a paper application. I may find an e-mail address and send a resume that way also. I then can explain that I do not give out the above information until hired.

No matter what, it is hard going out there. Nobody wants to go to work and dread going everyday. For if we can't love what we do, we don't become better people, we just become less than what we should be.