I am still trying to figure out what is so damn impressive about a yard full of dandelions? They aren't good for anything, the bees and birds don't like them, they stink and they just won't go away! The only thing they are good for is probably for making wine. Yes, you would have to be drunk in order to drink it, but hey, it works for a lot of people. Oh yeah, you can also eat the greens, don't like spinach, have some bitter dandelion greens.
The only reason I am going off on this is because we have some of the beautiful yellow things growing in the yard this year. Didn't have any last year, so where did they come from over the winter months? This is Minnesota, and as far as I know nothing grows during the winter.
Right now it is still dark out and I don't have to look at them, thank goodness. The problem comes when the sun comes up and any and everything is visible to the human eye. For some reason, I can't seem to get the hang of walking around with my eyes closed, I keep running into things.
Was hoping to sleep well last night, didn't happen. Don't understand why. Hope the insurance I applied for comes through so I can go and get it checked out.along with my back, legs and the tingling in my feet that is always there. The only thing that doesn't need any help is probably my ears. They seem to be fine.
Although I woke up on my side of the bed, I'm beginning to wonder if it isn't the wrong side of the bed. I have a feeling that it will turn into a long day, I don't think that I am prepared to handle one, I know that I don't want to have one. I have to call the hospital before going down today, if they are going to let Arlen out, I'm going to wait before I go. Hospitals are soooooo boring. Of course the discharge process seems to take as long as an ER visit. We all know how long those are.
I better stop before I make it so that you don't ever want to read this again. It's Friday, so will talk at you on Monday, have a great weekend, make the most of your time together or apart whatever the cause may be.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
What to do? What to do?
Sitting here listening to the news, getting tired of hearing about Haiti. I realize that things are bad there, but give me a break. Whatever happened to quietly helping? There are enough causes right here in the good old USofA to take care of, but do we ever hear about them, NO. If we were to ever have a global tragedy, would any of these countries that we have helped be in a position to help us?
Enough of that, it is just too exhausting to think about it.
Slept pretty good last night, feel almost completely rested. Had to enjoy it, it may have been my last night alone in the house. Arlen will more than likely come home today. They did a procedure on him yesterday to kill the nerves in his abdomen, it should take care of the pain for at least a couple of years. I can't remember what the exact procedure is called. It is some kind of block that they introduce to the system through the back and then shoot the nerves with some sort of alcohol. It is usually used for people in the end stages of cancer to make them more comfortable. He said late yesterday afternoon that it seemed to be working, and that his back was a little sore from being poked and prodded. It had beeter have worked, because between you and me, 7 years of listening to the phrase "Goddamn it hurts" is more than a little cruel.
Cold out this morning, between 30 and 37 depending on where you are. I was smart last night, closed all the windows but opne, which I left open about 1". So far no furnace running. I have absolutely nothing to do this morning before heading off to the hospital. Don't know what to do with myself, those days happen so rarely.
No dishes as I don't like to cook just for me, been either eating out, ordering out or eating prepared foods that don't require any dishes. Guess I could peek in my dishwasher and see if I ever unloaded it after the last use.
My niece gets married this Saturday. I feel for her, not only is a wedding stress enough, but she found out that her mother can't be there. For some reason she couldn't get the time off from work. How sucky is that?
Not only for Kate, but also for Sandy. I just hope that Penny, her step-mom doesn't try to step in and fill the space. Those two have never gotten along that I know of.
My mom isn't getting the eye surgery that was scheduled for May 6th. They decided that they could treat it with shots of some kind. So in one way that's good, in another all the travel plans that were made now have to be re-considered. My brother was coming up for 2 weeks to help her out after the surgery. My theory, it's all arranged for him to come, let him come and enjoy the time. Usually he is only up for deer hunting.
I think I have covered every area that has been going on. Enjoy your Thursday with anticipation to the weekend.
Enough of that, it is just too exhausting to think about it.
Slept pretty good last night, feel almost completely rested. Had to enjoy it, it may have been my last night alone in the house. Arlen will more than likely come home today. They did a procedure on him yesterday to kill the nerves in his abdomen, it should take care of the pain for at least a couple of years. I can't remember what the exact procedure is called. It is some kind of block that they introduce to the system through the back and then shoot the nerves with some sort of alcohol. It is usually used for people in the end stages of cancer to make them more comfortable. He said late yesterday afternoon that it seemed to be working, and that his back was a little sore from being poked and prodded. It had beeter have worked, because between you and me, 7 years of listening to the phrase "Goddamn it hurts" is more than a little cruel.
Cold out this morning, between 30 and 37 depending on where you are. I was smart last night, closed all the windows but opne, which I left open about 1". So far no furnace running. I have absolutely nothing to do this morning before heading off to the hospital. Don't know what to do with myself, those days happen so rarely.
No dishes as I don't like to cook just for me, been either eating out, ordering out or eating prepared foods that don't require any dishes. Guess I could peek in my dishwasher and see if I ever unloaded it after the last use.
My niece gets married this Saturday. I feel for her, not only is a wedding stress enough, but she found out that her mother can't be there. For some reason she couldn't get the time off from work. How sucky is that?
Not only for Kate, but also for Sandy. I just hope that Penny, her step-mom doesn't try to step in and fill the space. Those two have never gotten along that I know of.
My mom isn't getting the eye surgery that was scheduled for May 6th. They decided that they could treat it with shots of some kind. So in one way that's good, in another all the travel plans that were made now have to be re-considered. My brother was coming up for 2 weeks to help her out after the surgery. My theory, it's all arranged for him to come, let him come and enjoy the time. Usually he is only up for deer hunting.
I think I have covered every area that has been going on. Enjoy your Thursday with anticipation to the weekend.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Malfunctioning brain waves
2:19 am. That should say it all, the fact that I am awake and doing this, instead of sleeping. I should be asleep, yesterday started early (3 am) and didn't end until after 10 pm. I realize that the older I get, I am supposed to need less sleep. Time goes so fast to begin with, but what do you do in the middle of the night? I could take out garbage or find something else as equzlly productive, but then what do I do in the morning? I have already cleaned the litter boxes, I suppose I could finish folding clothes, my mind and body say yes, do this, but in the very back corner of my brain, it is telling me, no.
I just finished readng a blog from a woman who is going through a very difficult time in her life with a very difficult decision yet to be made. Sometimes these decisions have got to be looked at from the viewpoint of the very person it will affect. She is pregnant and there are some pretty serious birth defects. Yet she can not make a decision of what to do. The chances of the baby surviving for any amount of time is narrow, and if he does, how much pain and suffering will he go through.
My Dad told me one time that certain things are beyond our control and are God's way of making sure that the child will not suffer in life. He told me this shortly after my son died of SIDS. I very rarely doubted anything that he said, he was after all my father and would not intentionally lie to me. This is what he believed in with his whole heart. All he wanted to do was take away my suffering and put my mind at ease. He did.
I have a cousin, who is much older than I am, when she and her husband were trying to have children they were not having much luck. I don't know how many miscarriages she had before she finally gave birth, only to have the little girl pass away within a few hours. She had been born with most of her organs not fully formed and a lot of other problems. Yes, she got to hold her daughter, only to have her taken away yet again. They finally ended up adopting. When they did blood tests on the mom and dad, they found out that their DNA or whatever was not compadable and the chances of having a normal baby were about as low as they could go without being infertile. As far as I know, they are happy with their decision.
We all go through tough times. What we need to do is distance ourselves as much as possible and look at each trial in its own merit. Look at it from the viewpoint of whomever it will affect. We may suffer loss, pain, sorrow, anger and all of the emotions that go along with any decision, but at least it would be a selfless choice and not about what you think would be best for you. You will survive and go on with life, you will never forget and you will never understand the why of it all, but you will survive.
I just finished readng a blog from a woman who is going through a very difficult time in her life with a very difficult decision yet to be made. Sometimes these decisions have got to be looked at from the viewpoint of the very person it will affect. She is pregnant and there are some pretty serious birth defects. Yet she can not make a decision of what to do. The chances of the baby surviving for any amount of time is narrow, and if he does, how much pain and suffering will he go through.
My Dad told me one time that certain things are beyond our control and are God's way of making sure that the child will not suffer in life. He told me this shortly after my son died of SIDS. I very rarely doubted anything that he said, he was after all my father and would not intentionally lie to me. This is what he believed in with his whole heart. All he wanted to do was take away my suffering and put my mind at ease. He did.
I have a cousin, who is much older than I am, when she and her husband were trying to have children they were not having much luck. I don't know how many miscarriages she had before she finally gave birth, only to have the little girl pass away within a few hours. She had been born with most of her organs not fully formed and a lot of other problems. Yes, she got to hold her daughter, only to have her taken away yet again. They finally ended up adopting. When they did blood tests on the mom and dad, they found out that their DNA or whatever was not compadable and the chances of having a normal baby were about as low as they could go without being infertile. As far as I know, they are happy with their decision.
We all go through tough times. What we need to do is distance ourselves as much as possible and look at each trial in its own merit. Look at it from the viewpoint of whomever it will affect. We may suffer loss, pain, sorrow, anger and all of the emotions that go along with any decision, but at least it would be a selfless choice and not about what you think would be best for you. You will survive and go on with life, you will never forget and you will never understand the why of it all, but you will survive.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I'm going to order a burger for supper!
So my day started at 3 am. Woke up and just could not get back to sleep, decided that if I was going to be awake anyway I might as well get somethin done. Cleaned the kitchen.
Later took a shower and headed off to the hospital to see Arlen. He is there so they can hopefully figure out what is always causing his pain and to try different drugs to manage it. It is actually nice to have a couple of days all to myself.
After I left the hospital I stopped up at the ATHC Attic ( consignment shop) picked up a couple of shirts, curtains and 2 black venetian blinds. Theblinds are now hanging in my bedroom windows. Since both windows are on the west side it gets rather hot in the bedroom in the late afternoon and evening. So far they are making a big difference.
I also re-arranged the bedroom and hung new curtains. Doesn't look too bad if I do say so myself. Still have to wash the curtains that I took down in the living room and bedroom, that may have to wait until tomorrow, I'm feeling rather tired. Have to take out the garbage also, but that as well can wait until tomorrow.
I am enjoying the time by myself at home. It doesn't happen very often, so when it does I try to get as much done as possible. At some point you just have to make yourself stop whatever it is that you are doing and say "that's enought"! I feel that I have been overly productive, but am glad that I got as much done as I did. Less to do tomorrow.
Going to order my burger, since the kitchen is clean, why dirty it!
Later took a shower and headed off to the hospital to see Arlen. He is there so they can hopefully figure out what is always causing his pain and to try different drugs to manage it. It is actually nice to have a couple of days all to myself.
After I left the hospital I stopped up at the ATHC Attic ( consignment shop) picked up a couple of shirts, curtains and 2 black venetian blinds. Theblinds are now hanging in my bedroom windows. Since both windows are on the west side it gets rather hot in the bedroom in the late afternoon and evening. So far they are making a big difference.
I also re-arranged the bedroom and hung new curtains. Doesn't look too bad if I do say so myself. Still have to wash the curtains that I took down in the living room and bedroom, that may have to wait until tomorrow, I'm feeling rather tired. Have to take out the garbage also, but that as well can wait until tomorrow.
I am enjoying the time by myself at home. It doesn't happen very often, so when it does I try to get as much done as possible. At some point you just have to make yourself stop whatever it is that you are doing and say "that's enought"! I feel that I have been overly productive, but am glad that I got as much done as I did. Less to do tomorrow.
Going to order my burger, since the kitchen is clean, why dirty it!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Good Morning Monday!
Monday morning, *sigh*. The whole week will start anew. Cleaning, laundry, cooking, phone calls to be made. Got the important stuff done, shower, dressed and bed made. Now on to the not so much fun stuff.
I have long admired people who can write about anything and make it seem interesting. They just seem to have a knack for how to compose a sentence, with a word here, a phrase there and a complete surprise with the placement of all of the verbs, adverbs, nouns, pronouns and all that other stuff we take for granted.
I, on the ohter hand, could not describe a blue sky with the sun shining down on the freshley greened grass without having to stop and think about it. When I would get it down, it would just sound like what it was, sky and grass.
I realize that these blogs are supposed to be used for voicing opinions and viewpoints about politics, life, religion and anything else that you could think of. I refuse to use it to gain pity from other people. My life hasn't turned out the way I wanted or thought it would, but it hasn't turned out to be so bad either. Yes, there have been sad times, but the good out weigh them. For instance, during our first year of marriage we had either 6 or 7 deaths of family members. We lost 3 Grandfathers, 1 cousin, 1 son and 1 uncle. Hard to handle all that, especially when you are trying to start a new life together as a family, but we did it.
Over the years we of course have lost more family, that is to be expected. For some reason the aging never stops, the illnesses just keep adding up. However, there have been such great events also. The marriages of both of our children, the birth of our grandchildren and the future with more grandchildren. For after all, that is what life is..one great big cycle of birth, death and re-birth.
I know that there are some people who believe that the end of the world is in sight. Of course it is. It always has been, and always will be. It is as unchangeable as the course of events that will take us from birth to death. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I have long admired people who can write about anything and make it seem interesting. They just seem to have a knack for how to compose a sentence, with a word here, a phrase there and a complete surprise with the placement of all of the verbs, adverbs, nouns, pronouns and all that other stuff we take for granted.
I, on the ohter hand, could not describe a blue sky with the sun shining down on the freshley greened grass without having to stop and think about it. When I would get it down, it would just sound like what it was, sky and grass.
I realize that these blogs are supposed to be used for voicing opinions and viewpoints about politics, life, religion and anything else that you could think of. I refuse to use it to gain pity from other people. My life hasn't turned out the way I wanted or thought it would, but it hasn't turned out to be so bad either. Yes, there have been sad times, but the good out weigh them. For instance, during our first year of marriage we had either 6 or 7 deaths of family members. We lost 3 Grandfathers, 1 cousin, 1 son and 1 uncle. Hard to handle all that, especially when you are trying to start a new life together as a family, but we did it.
Over the years we of course have lost more family, that is to be expected. For some reason the aging never stops, the illnesses just keep adding up. However, there have been such great events also. The marriages of both of our children, the birth of our grandchildren and the future with more grandchildren. For after all, that is what life is..one great big cycle of birth, death and re-birth.
I know that there are some people who believe that the end of the world is in sight. Of course it is. It always has been, and always will be. It is as unchangeable as the course of events that will take us from birth to death. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Friday, April 16, 2010
End of the week
I am so glad that it is Friday, even though I am not working yet Friday still has to be the best day of the week.
Do you ever feel disconnected from the world? I woke up feeling that today. Not sure why. It feels like such a long time since I have interacted with anyone other Arlen and the kids occasionaly that the thought of even going uptown sometimes leaves me anxious.
I don't know where these feelings of inadaquatcies come from, some days they just pop in there. I end up second guessing every little thing I do, and most times because of this I end up doing nothing. Then I sit and chastise myself for getting nothing done. Vicous cirlce.
I think that one of the problems is that there just isn't anybody where we live that I want to socialize with. Most of them have LOTS of small children, and in past experence I have found that once you get to know them, they kind of take advantage of the fact that either you aren't working, or they feel like you should become surrogate parents for all of their problems. Sounds pessimistic doesn't it? It is just hard to get to know people for me.
I know that a lot of that comes from moving around a lot as a child, and it has carried over into my adult life.
That and the fact that everyone I know seems to be working different schedules and it is hard to get together even just to have coffee. Once I get back to work I'm sure that alot of this will go away. The store will be busy and I will once again be able to be tired of people, but at least I will have something to talk about. Mostly the stupid things people do and say when they are out and about.
Next time you are in a store, garage sale, church or where ever, open you ears and eyes and you too will see what I mean.
Have a great weeked, enjoy the weather, do something fun wih your family and I will talk to you on Monday.
Do you ever feel disconnected from the world? I woke up feeling that today. Not sure why. It feels like such a long time since I have interacted with anyone other Arlen and the kids occasionaly that the thought of even going uptown sometimes leaves me anxious.
I don't know where these feelings of inadaquatcies come from, some days they just pop in there. I end up second guessing every little thing I do, and most times because of this I end up doing nothing. Then I sit and chastise myself for getting nothing done. Vicous cirlce.
I think that one of the problems is that there just isn't anybody where we live that I want to socialize with. Most of them have LOTS of small children, and in past experence I have found that once you get to know them, they kind of take advantage of the fact that either you aren't working, or they feel like you should become surrogate parents for all of their problems. Sounds pessimistic doesn't it? It is just hard to get to know people for me.
I know that a lot of that comes from moving around a lot as a child, and it has carried over into my adult life.
That and the fact that everyone I know seems to be working different schedules and it is hard to get together even just to have coffee. Once I get back to work I'm sure that alot of this will go away. The store will be busy and I will once again be able to be tired of people, but at least I will have something to talk about. Mostly the stupid things people do and say when they are out and about.
Next time you are in a store, garage sale, church or where ever, open you ears and eyes and you too will see what I mean.
Have a great weeked, enjoy the weather, do something fun wih your family and I will talk to you on Monday.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Why can't it be Friday so I don't have to think for 2 days?
Looking forward to the weekend, I don't have to think at all if I choose not to. How great is that!
Arlen was up last night and got to see the meteorite that went past. He said it was pretty awesome. I have never seen one and probably never will. Seems to be the only time I get any sleep is when there is something going on. Oh well, could always be worse.
My niece is getting married in Las Vegas a week from this Saturday. Not going, just can't afford it. Not sure what is up with the Vegas thing, can barely afford weddings in this area.
The following week is my daughters 3rd anniversary. That time has really gone fast. They are now expecting their 2nd baby. I am so excited, I have been ready for another one for quite some time now. I have a gut feeling that she will be having a boy this time around. All of her symtons are a lot different that when she was having Lily. If they have a boy they are planning on naming him Elijah and if a girl, Claire. I am so glad that they are not going for any goofy sounding names These I can at least remember. As of right now she is due around Dec. 7. I thought it was my mother-in-laws birthday, but hers is the 11th. So many of them in Dec. the way it is.
So, it rained all night and is still raining. I know we need it, but now I am just getting tired of the gray skies and wet ground. My kitchen floor doesn't stay very clean with all of this. Yesterday I put out my mesh 3 bin laundry hamper to dry, bet that doesn't happen today. Once it quits raining for a while, I'll have to bring it in and set it in the tub to finish drying. Not such a big problem, I do have other laundry baskets that I can use. This one is really nice though with its 3 seperate compartments. I can just lift it and take it over to the washing machine, don't have to sort anything, it's already done. Now I just need to get an ironing board. Believe it or not, I enjoy ironing.
I heard a rumor a while back that Dueber's is going to be closed within the year, and the hardware store is close on its heels. If those 2 businesses close up, there will be no reason to go uptown anymore, they are the only 2 stores that we have. We have 5 liqour store, a bank, insurance, Subway, Casey's, the pharmacy and a couple of beauticians but it just doesn't seem right that a town of over 2,000 can't support the local people. Every one bitches that they can't find what they need, well maybe, just maybe, if they had been shopping here instead of making needless trips to other towns, there would be some place to find what you need. I was in Dueber's the other day, shelves are pretty bare. Don't know if they were waiting for a shipment or what, but it didn't look very good. The worst thing they ever did was get rid of all the sewing patterns and notions. You can still buy some material there, but not off the bolt. So trying to find enough when you want to make something is darn near impossible.
Walmart in Hutch got rid of their fabric department also, now the only places to get what you need are JoAnn's in the mall and some place downtown. I don't sew that much anymore, but it sure is inconvienent to have to drive 20 miles to get what I need. Especially if that is all that I am going for.
Okay, enough of the rambling on Thursday, talk to you tomorrow!
Arlen was up last night and got to see the meteorite that went past. He said it was pretty awesome. I have never seen one and probably never will. Seems to be the only time I get any sleep is when there is something going on. Oh well, could always be worse.
My niece is getting married in Las Vegas a week from this Saturday. Not going, just can't afford it. Not sure what is up with the Vegas thing, can barely afford weddings in this area.
The following week is my daughters 3rd anniversary. That time has really gone fast. They are now expecting their 2nd baby. I am so excited, I have been ready for another one for quite some time now. I have a gut feeling that she will be having a boy this time around. All of her symtons are a lot different that when she was having Lily. If they have a boy they are planning on naming him Elijah and if a girl, Claire. I am so glad that they are not going for any goofy sounding names These I can at least remember. As of right now she is due around Dec. 7. I thought it was my mother-in-laws birthday, but hers is the 11th. So many of them in Dec. the way it is.
So, it rained all night and is still raining. I know we need it, but now I am just getting tired of the gray skies and wet ground. My kitchen floor doesn't stay very clean with all of this. Yesterday I put out my mesh 3 bin laundry hamper to dry, bet that doesn't happen today. Once it quits raining for a while, I'll have to bring it in and set it in the tub to finish drying. Not such a big problem, I do have other laundry baskets that I can use. This one is really nice though with its 3 seperate compartments. I can just lift it and take it over to the washing machine, don't have to sort anything, it's already done. Now I just need to get an ironing board. Believe it or not, I enjoy ironing.
I heard a rumor a while back that Dueber's is going to be closed within the year, and the hardware store is close on its heels. If those 2 businesses close up, there will be no reason to go uptown anymore, they are the only 2 stores that we have. We have 5 liqour store, a bank, insurance, Subway, Casey's, the pharmacy and a couple of beauticians but it just doesn't seem right that a town of over 2,000 can't support the local people. Every one bitches that they can't find what they need, well maybe, just maybe, if they had been shopping here instead of making needless trips to other towns, there would be some place to find what you need. I was in Dueber's the other day, shelves are pretty bare. Don't know if they were waiting for a shipment or what, but it didn't look very good. The worst thing they ever did was get rid of all the sewing patterns and notions. You can still buy some material there, but not off the bolt. So trying to find enough when you want to make something is darn near impossible.
Walmart in Hutch got rid of their fabric department also, now the only places to get what you need are JoAnn's in the mall and some place downtown. I don't sew that much anymore, but it sure is inconvienent to have to drive 20 miles to get what I need. Especially if that is all that I am going for.
Okay, enough of the rambling on Thursday, talk to you tomorrow!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)