4 months

It has been 4 months since Arlen passed away.  The weather is in such contrast to that day.  December 11, 2010, worst blizzrd in a long time, today, beautiful and sunny.  Had a rough time of it though.

All weekend I was just kind of off.  I knew that when the 3 month mark had come and gone that it would get harder.  He had been in the hospital for a 3 month stretch, so had nothing to compare anything to.  Today it just kind of hit me, he really is gone and not coming back.

For the past 28 years I had known an unconditional love that knew no boundries.  Although we were married for 28 years, we had known each other for almost 40.  We had our first date when we were both 14, then our next one wasn't until we were 18, after that 23.  We went to school and graduated together, were friends but not much more than that.  I married after high school and then divorced, then we got together at a dance, and the rest as they say is history.

So even though this is a sad and lonely time in my life, I will have both good and bad memories to get me through.  You see, you can't just remember the good without remembering the bad.    We had good times, rough times, and times that neither of us could remember.  I still refer to everything I do as we.  For so long it was always we or us, hard getting used to me or I.  Just doesn't feel right.  Like everyting else in life I will eather this through and hopefully come out stronger in the end.  With the support of family and friends anything is possible.