Have you ever felft like the poor relative of your family? You know, the one that you don't know if your relatives really care about you or if they just tolerate you because they have to.
I have been feeling that way for a long time. I have had relatives tell me, don't worry about paying me back, my investments are doing great, sending you money to get whatever you need. That kind of thing. I know they mean well, but some days it is just harder to take than others.
Even when I was making decent money, I still felt that way. Christmas would come around and you get those annoying letters of what everyone has done the past year. The ones, so and so went to Hawaii, or a different state on vacation. So and so spent the summer at their lake home, and the other so and so has expanded their business.
Great.
I feel that no matter how hard I try, I will never quite acheive anything. I should just be glad that basically I am healthy, have a roof over my head, food on the table and all that stuff. When you are sitting here alone and trying to find something interesting to do or to watch on TV, it gets very hard to keep a positive attitude.
My biggest goal in life was to always take a vacation that didn't involve staying with relatives. Now that I am alone, it just doesn't seem so appealing. First of all where would I go, second of all would I even enjoy myself being alone on vacation. Might as well be a monk or whatever.
As you can see, I am feeling just a little bit sorry for myself today. Which is why I sat down and did this. Hoping it would help, not sure that it did.
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