A new life

Okay, so it's been about 4 months since I last did this.  A lot has changed in my life since then.  I am just hoping to be able to handle it all.

On Dec. 11, 2010, my husband, Arlen, passed away during the worst blizzard that we have had in a long time.  I had been down to see him in the hospital and stayed all morning.  About an hour after getting home, the hospital called and said that he was gone.  Of course because of the weather and all the planning that had to be done, the memorial service wasn't for a week.  I decided to have him cremated, he was always so cold and now he won't be anymore.  I think I have handled this pretty well.  I hope so.

I have found myself getting angry with him lately.  There were so many things that he left undone and so many promises that he left unfulfilled.  The worse one was the one he made to me, that he would never leave me, he lied about that big time.  I know all about the 7 steps of grief.  I have already accepted that he is gone and that for him it is much easier.  I so far, have not had to struggle a whole lot.  Thank Goodness.

I have had wonderful support from family members, not just mine, but his also.  I don't know what I would have done without my Mother and both of my children.  They always seem to come through when I need them.  Let's not forget the grand kids.  What joy they bring into my life.  3 of the main reasons to continue to go on.  There are a lot more, but, family is a great motivator.

I know that if I feel the need to vent or get angry or cry, I can call any of them, and they will listen and comfort and assure me that it will all be okay.  I know that it will, I have no doubt about it.  I know that deep down I am a strong person and able to deal with a lot more that will no doubt come my way.

One of the other things that has changed in my home.  We had 8 cats.  Notice I said HAD.  I took 6 of them up the to tri-County Humane Society in St. Cloud.  I know that they will find themselves in good homes with people who have the time and energy to give them the attention and love they all deserve.  The two that I kept were two of the older ones, they help fill the void.  At least if someone is walking by and hears me talking, I know that I am not talking to myself.  They may not always give me the answer I want, but they know that I love them and they will agree to whatever I say (especially if treats are in the works).

I (and the kids) have been working to do some transformations in the house.  I will finally have a dining room that we can all sit down and eat together in, I will also have a calm and relaxing bedroom (I hope it turns out that way).  Now just have to wait for the warmer weather to paint, want to have the windows open when I do.

Planning on having a pretty good size garage sale come May.  Lots of tools and kitchen gadgets.  Arlen was a great believer that you could never have too many of the same thing.  So watch for updates with dates and times.

Guess I had quite a bit to talk about this time.  Will try to keep up with it better this go round.